Bekah McBeth, MC'02 on her semester in Paris (Spring, 2000) with ESGCI. This piece originally appeared in the Monmouth College Courier, Sept. 1, 2000, Vol. 112, No. 1,  pg. 6.

The Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre, the Musee D'Orsay - all of them are found in the "City of Love," Paris. I spent the second semester of my sophomore year in France, and looking back I can say that I was transformed. Was it because of the Eiffel Tower or because I saw some of the most incredible art in the world? Not directly, although such amazing sites at times overwhelmed me. Was it the fact that I lived in an apartment in a large city? Of course, this had a lot to do with challenging my cooking abilities and teaching me responsibility, but it was not the key factor in changing my outlook on life. Was the transformation that I underwent the result of being in another country, surrounded with new people with new outlooks on life, and being completely immersed in a different culture? This is definitely what prompted, encouraged, and many times challenged me as an individual.

In France, I learned more about myself, my life, my faith, my culture, other cultures, and the world, than I have collectively over a number of years. When I first arrived in France, I vowed that whatever it took to succeed, I would do it. I would overcome the language barrier through hard work and dedication. And, I would overcome cultural barriers by making friends and being willing to attempt to see the world through their perspective. The friends that I made in France will be friends for life. I am confident of this after only spending half a year among them.

What convinces me of this is the French value placed on friendship. There was never a time that I needed help where I had to hesitate to ask a friend. Whether I called at three in the morning when I found out that my grandfather passed away, whether I understood absolutely nothing at all in a class and needed to copy notes, or whether I just needed someone to talk to about my fears and concerns, I never felt that I needed to worry about depending too much upon my friends. It is the dependence that these friends have on each other that most amazed me. This is not to say that friends eat every meal together, talk for hours on the phone each night, or are always agree on issues. They do not. However, there is incredible value placed on being supportive and encouraging friends.

One quality of the French that I truly admire is their capability to be direct. If they care about you, you know it. Maybe they do not verbalize it as much as we do here, but their actions prove it. If they do not like someone, they do not like that person. In my experience, when there were individuals who did not get along, they would simply say to me, "I do not get along with so and so. However, you need to get to know them and make your own decision." Being friends with certain individuals with certain interests did not exclude anyone from becoming friends with people of other interests.

The encouragement that I find with these friends is not necessarily the same type of encouragement to which Americans typically relate. In France, friends are not afraid to reprove or even strongly disagree with friends. Even when there is an argument, grudges are not kept and friends do not split paths. I really found that the people in France were not afraid of differences as much as we are here in the United States. I was an American in France. The French did not attempt to sculpture me into a French girl, neither did I want to become a "French" girl. While the differences in my culture and their culture continued to become abundantly clear throughout the semester, we never felt as though we could not be friends and acknowledge those differences at the same time.

One other lesson that I learned which also greatly challenged me in my life was the lesson of relaxation. Looking back over my first three semesters of college, and even high school, I can frequently see the impact of over-exertion in my life. Too many times I became involved in too many things, and I ended up losing sight of what was really important and why I was doing the things I did. Being busy left me without time to look around and "smell the flowers," as a good friend of mine often says. I was accomplishing and striving, and that is a good thing. However, now I realize that it turned into a never-ending cycle of finishing one thing and committing to ten others. It meant canceling plans, becoming less responsible, and losing out on much needed personal time. In France, I started with a clean slate. I learned to excel in a few things and give them my all, rather than to stretch myself thin and give eighty percent to everything that I do.

I learned to try new things. Even the food was different. I learned how to eat for enjoyment and to really take time to be thankful and appreciate the meal, rather than to just scarf and run. I had foods from all over the world. Some of them I liked, some of them I didn't. But, at least I can say that I have tried them. Learning to try new things definitely played a major role in my life in areas other than food. I learned to do everything that I can to make the dreams that I have come true. For example, what if I want to sing, should I join the choir? What if I am not as good as others, what if I am a beginner learning? Then, I am not as good as the others, and I am a beginner learning. Why should I be afraid of those facts and let that stand in the way of what I really have a passion to do?

I also learned a great deal about the world around me. I was often humbled as friends would tell me more about the United States than I knew myself. It became clear to me that the knowledge I had was limited, not to the fault of anyone other than myself. Education is a precious and valuable commodity, one that can change the world. As I talked to friends or watched the news, I learned about wars in countries that I had never heard of previously. I spoke to students from Africa about their native tribes. I learned that while the world is so small, it is so enormous at the same time. Ultimately, I learned that it is so much bigger and richer than I ever realized.

As my scoop of life and the world broadened, problems that used to seem incredibly huge became less significant. On my return flight from France, there was a five hour delay in Paris; therefore, I missed my connecting flight from Toronto to Chicago. It was important that I made the flight, because I needed to present at an ACM conference the next morning. When I arrived in Canada, I had less than an hour to catch the last flight. It seemed feasible enough. However, what I did not understand was that in that short amount of time, I had to clear both Canadian and American customs. I did catch my flight in the nick of time. My bags, however, did not take the same flight that I did. When I arrived in Chicago, I waited three hours at the airport, because my family had been informed that I came in on another flight. Eventually, we ended up connecting in the right terminal. I did make the conference, and I did get my bags the next day. When I think about what happened, I realize how much I grew in France. Had that happened previously, I don't believe that I would have adopted to the situation with as much ease. Facing the situation after my study abroad, I understood that it was part of international travel, and I was confident that everything would work out. I learned to really care about the problems and challenges in life that need to be addressed, and I also gained an understanding that there are, indeed, problems in life that we make larger than they really need to be.

I think that the greatest lesson that I learned was to really slow down and to love life. Life is really too short to break relationships with those we love and to spend time in a lifestyle in which we are miserable. The most important thing at the end of the day is to know that you made a positive impact in the lives of those around you, that you worked to overcome the challenges that came your way, and that you can say, "I lived a life of purpose today, and I loved it."

Being able to say that you loved the day that you lived does not mean that everything went right or that things went the way that you wanted them to go. It means that despite what came your way, you were able to respond instead of react, and that you know overcame the circumstances rather then letting them overcome you. There were plenty of challenges and difficult times in France. I will not deny that. However, I adamantly refused to let them rob me of my joy in life or of the incredible experience that I had in France. Eventually, I want to move back to France, at least for a couple years of my life. Until then, I fully plan to continue to implement into my life all that I learned and also to continue to challenge myself here. The opportunities for growth are innumerable. They exist in every person that we met, every challenge that we face, and every victory that we have. If we reach out and grab these opportunities, we can be people who have a positive impact on the world, even in our daily lives.