last updated 11/7/2003
1. deal directly with it - define it clearly
2. deal with one issue at a time
3. be tentative in evaluation - avoid win-lose or "you're dumb" postures
4. seek objective standards for resolution
5. paraphrase a lot
1. Make open how you (and others) define selves, roles and relationships
2. Be aware of triggers
3. Include relationship reminders in your statements -- parasupport
4. Use role reversal or moritoriums if necessary.
5. Watch out for the tendency to cop out.
1. Begin with areas of agreement
2. Focus on interests (not people)
3. Treat the issue like problem solving
4. Invent options for mutual gain
5. Seek objective criteria for solutions
1. Identify the value(s) clearly and note any other types of conflict involved
2. Begin by expanding areas of agreement
3. Exchange perspectives
4. Agree to disagree when necessary
5. Be extremely cautious about becoming judgmental and personal.